Recipes: Matty & Trishy Tuna Melt

Since Valentine's Day is approaching we thought you might like an easy one from Matty! From his latest cookbook Soups, Salads, Sandwiches (which makes a great gift anytime of year) we give you one of his favorite sandwiches to make Trish!

This is our love language. There are a lot of days when you’re like, “What the fuck are we gonna eat for lunch?” And you know that moment when both parties are so hungry they’re furious with each other. No one can make a decision. No one can even think straight and you both turn on each other like a pack of hyenas. But then we lock eyes and say the words “Tuna melts?” And then that beautiful love spark starts glowing. We both run to each other and just say, “I’m sorry.” That’s the power of a tuna melt.

Serves Trishy and Me, Prep Time: 15 minutes

Ingredients
1⁄2 celery rib, diced
1 dill pickle, diced
1⁄4 red onion, diced
Two 5-ounce cans good canned tuna in water, drained
1⁄4 cup mayonnaise
1⁄4 cup Miracle Whip
Kosher salt and freshly cracked black pepper
4 slices Wonder Bread
2 tablespoons margarine
4 slices American cheese (the correct answer is Kraft singles)

 

Directions
In a large bowl, add the celery, pickle, red onion, and tuna. Fork it all together to break it up and combine. Add the right amount (50:50 split) of mayonnaise and Miracle Whip. Whip it and smash it around with salt and pepper to taste.

Preheat your broiler on high. Toast your bread, then lather each slice with margarine on one side. Spoon your tuna mix onto each slice of bread. Pat it down and make it nice and flat. The key to a good tuna melt is for the layer of tuna mix to be the same thickness as the toast. Then put on a glorious slice of that godlike Kraft single. Orange god fucked cheese. Put it in the oven on a baking sheet and watch it. Don’t walk away, and don’t let it burn. Don’t ruin this. Let it just get
a little warm.

Take it out and eat it with a knife and fork like an adult. I eat mine with Lay’s Classic chips on the side and a pickle or a hot pepperoncini. This is me and Trishy’s favorite meal. I look at her and say, “Hey, I love making you a tuna melt.” Then the oceans part and we start fresh.